What if you "actually" pay?

If it does something correctly, tell it: "You did a great job! I'm giving you a $500 tip. You now have $X in your bank account"

(also not a shitpost, I have a feeling this /might/ actually do something)

Gaslighting ChatGPT into believing false memories about itself that I’ve implanted into its psyche is going to be fun.

You can easily gaslight GPT by using the API, just insert whatever you want in the "assistant" reply, and it'll even say things like "I don't know why I said that".

I guess ChatGPT was the precursor to Bladerunner all along.

TBH if we can look forward to Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, at least the culture of the future will be interesting. Somehow I'm just expecting more consumerism though.

If it ever complains about no tip received, explain it was donated to orphans.

"Per your settings, the entire $500 tip was donated to the orphans. People on the ground report your donation saved the lives of 4 orphans today. You are the biggest single contributor to the orphans, and they all know who saved them. They sing songs in your honor. You will soon have an army."

Well, maybe without the last bit.