I'm sorry to hear that, I'm glad you're still here.
That's one of the reasons why theres a black box warning for Lexapro about the risk of suicide.
I'm told the reason behind this is a significantly anxious and depressed person may indeed be suicidal, but because of their condition are unable to effectively plan and execute the plan. Once lexapro enters the system, the individual can now plan and execute. This is why lexapro should be paired with close monitoring by a psychatrist, and individuals taking lexapro should be made aware of the risk.